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today has been miserable, beaten by my mother for talking back and being stubborn, sick and losing my voice, and arguing with my loser bf about getting a job, studing for his GED and getting his tags on his car so he can come see me, which requires a birth certificate which he doesnt have, and all in all i end up staying home alone like a loser on a friday night with nothing to do. i jas i don like who i am. im that loser gurl that sits home on a saturday with nothing todo. and all i can do is wonder why? why im i here? is it because im thicker, is it because im not pretty? is it because im a bitch? is it because i moved here last year? i mean what is wrong with me? im so confused. i just hate who i am. im that bum gurl..all i can think to fix this problem is to lose weight, and to keep saving up money for a car that way i can get out of this dam house and go places and meet people and have fun. its just takin so long. and i keep on fkn up on tryin to lose weight. i just dont know where to go from here. and my bf doesnt make it any better since hes 45 min away. i just wish sometimes i could wake up as another gurl. the beautiful one, or the smart one, the talented one, the popular one, i am the unknown. and im a fkn senior and i havent been to one BIG party in my life. its just so hard for me to adjust. everywhere i have ever lived i had a group of friends and i could of grown up with them and been happy but no. i just leave and move. and try to make good friendships all over again..but its hard. ive only been here for a lil over a year and so far ive been in out of girl groups its like i dont belong anywhere. i just feel left out, isolated, lonely, the only time i really feel happy is when im with him. because he makes me feel like im special.

Damn wtf am I doing..My life is so unbelieveable no1 has a life like me no1..I lose family friends lovers and just everything..Why am O dha only one goin thru dis shyt..Im just not meant to be happy I guess..Damn bitchez tryna take my man..Bitches gon make me hit dha fan bitches juss wanna get me mad but ima be dha last bitch standin wit ya man..Hahaha juss a liddle poem of mines..

In skewl mad bored..Shyt is really blowin mines..

I think there might be something wrong with me,

Because I always feel so empty...

Like�a part of me is missing!

Every passing day seems so strange,

Deep down I know something has to change...

I�know�I have to change my ways,

Maybe I�will one of these days...

Because something wrong with me,

And I just need someone to hear my plea

I maybe left some pertinent info out last time,he has done time for that rape,I mentioned. And I recently found out, he is a PEDOPHILE. And in his PAROLE, it stipulates, he is not to� be�around schools,playgrounds or the likes.